Funny stuff my kids say

Eli to Tate, ever so subtly criticizing his backwards shooting pattern in Angry Birds, "Why don't you want to win?"

Tate, after being forced to wait until almost 8pm to eat dinner on the way to Utah "Please get Tate a food."

Tate, upon climbing into bed with us and seeing Adam, uncharacteristically, wearing a hoodie "Mommy, is that a guy?" Me: "Um...yeah. He also happens to be your dad." ***I find this amusing for multiple, obvious reasons, but mostly because if I WERE going to cheat on my husband, it would definitely be in the 9th month of pregnancy.

This is more sad than funny, but while sledding on my birthday, Tate kept asking me if I wanted to sled with him and seemed pacified by my brothers and Dad and Adam until just near the end; he looked up at me and very seriously said, "Mommy. You don't want to go with me?" It just about broke my heart. Unfortunately, a two year old isn't quite capable of understanding the complexities of being 9 months pregnant and how unenjoyable it is to sit in a moving car, nevermind a moving sled down a bumpy hill. Oh, AND I would have to walk back up. But it was still sad the way he said it.

I asked Eli if he would come visit me and the baby in the hospital. His response: "Ummm, I'm not sure. Can I bring the X-box?" Actually, not a terrible idea...

Ever since a very horrible biting incident on a very, ahem, sensitive part of Tate's body, we DO NOT taking biting by Eli lightly at all. So when I asked Eli about an alleged biting incident he committed at Adam's parents house, and got the following response, it was difficult to remain stern:" Well. We were all playing in the bounce house. Eliza was there. She is older. My friends were there, and....that's all!" When I asked if we should go ask Jonah what happened, he yelled, "NO!!!"

The grand finale: While building an awesome Domino tower during church, Tate was unusually pacified and quiet. That is until Leila came over to help at the same time one of the boys came to sit down by us after passing the Sacrament. SOMEONE (Leila) knocked down the tower, but Tate attributed the crime to the unknown boy now seated to Adam's left. Tate calmly stood up and announced "I'll go hit that guy." Adam whispered, "Um, no!" Tate repeated the ultimatum several times while Adam restrained his advances. He was persistent about administering punishment but we thought we had him distracted until ten minutes later when he marched right past Adam, who by then had let his guard down, and wound his arm back to smack the kid. Adam grabbed him in time to stop the arm, but, unfortunately for the kid, not the leg. Tate managed to mete out justice by kicking the kid in the arm. We decided not to tell him that it was actually sweet little Leila who was responsible for the destruction of the tower.

There are plenty of legit reasons why I haven't kept my blogging promise...

actually only one: we have one functioning computer on which a person can accomplish exactly ONE task before it freezes up and fritzes out. So, typically, I check my email and/or pay bills when absolutely necessary. We bought a new one from Costco but hated it and took it back. I think we might just be getting old and irritable at the idea of anything new, but I sincerely hated the format of Windows 8, chronically mistyped on the flat keyboard and was just too tempted by Costco's return policy. So anyway...I have other reasons too, like I am lazy. And fat. And sooooo sick of being pregnant. And I am sort of incapable of writing (to say nothing of thinking) about ANYTHING besides how sick of being pregnant I am, which isn't all that uplifting or fun to read about. So hopefully as soon as new little Nora decides to show up (tonight????) I will be more eager to blog about things less depressing than the discomfort and misery of the end of pregnancy. I have good intel that predicts she will be born this Friday or Saturday, when the weather and pressure changes. That would be perfect! I can wait that long...and I have a ward shower on Thursday night and then Adam wouldn't have to cancel any of his patients. So here is to hoping for a happy birthday on Friday January 11th! Or tonight.

Christmas...

was lovely. We went to dinner at Tucano's on Christmas Eve and I made kick butt pork enchiladas and cinnamon rolls for Christmas day. We had fresh snow, all day to just hang in our pajamas and play with new toys and it was just really really nice. I will admit- Adam was thrilled about spending our first Christmas all by ourselves, in our own home and I was a little sad. I think it had more to do with feelings of confinement and, well, handicappedness...like I COULDN'T go anywhere more than anything. But it was quiet and pleasant and perfect. I love having my husband home for days in a row because he gets restless and starts fixing things. And we watched football and took naps and got the house ready for baby and it was just plain great. And in the end, I pulled the executive "I-am-pregnant-and-miserable-and-I-really-want-to-see-my-sister" card and we ended up going to Utah anyway for my birthday, my cousin Jordan's wedding and just to hang. It was a short but awesome trip. And I couldn't have pre-ordered a better birthday: A fresh beautiful blanket of sparkling snow, a sunny day, a walk (painful though it was) with my mom and sister, a big old Holiday DDP, sledding with my whole family, a nap and dinner at Tucano's, again, followed by a pedicure from my mom. Well, I guess I could have NOT been pregnant and that would have been better, but other than that it was perfect.

Christmas card

When my cousin, who graciously shot this picture, passed it along, he did so with disappointment that it didn’t

turn out that great…I disagree. This picture represents a measurable amount of behavioral progress from last year’s Christmas card; sure, one of us is at an awkwardly pregnant stage, one of us is in the middle of picking his nose/grabbing himself, and one looks strangely like an alien gazing off into space. However, if you will recall last year’s debacle, all four of us were looking NOT at the camera and two of us were screaming and writhing. So I am pleased with what we have accomplished this year by way of photography etiquette. This year marks the third consecutive Christmas living in a different state for us. Since our attempts at voting in two swing states during the election proved unsuccessful, we have decided to stay put for a while! Truly, we enjoy Colorado and are so happy to be back in the West. Eli(5) and Tate(2) are still as wild as ever. Yesterday, as I winced while ineffectively chasing Tate up onto the stand at church, (which everyone else seemed to find amusing) I seriously wondered what we are going to do with a third child—who just so happens to be a baby girl and should be here near the end of January. Adam says it will be fine because we pre-ordered her to be nice and sweet and calm and to never break anything or run away from us. So that should be great and we are all excited to meet her. We are grateful this time of year for the friends and family we have, of whom you are, that make celebrating the birth of the Savior all the more meaningful; we wish you a Merry Christmas and wish you the peace and comfort that comes through him. Love, The Burr Family

My mom is a wizard

So everyone who knows my mom knows that she is a doer. She just goes and goes and gets things done. And she does them well...not like Ashley style, like improvise everything just to get it done asap so that nothing bad happens while I am "busy getting something done." She does things but she also does them impeccably, perfectly well. So she came for Halloween last week. And so that Adam and I could go to Taos, NM for the weekend. The whole thing was such a brilliant idea and even more brilliantly executed: Not only did she get to spend Halloween with the kids, not only did we design the baby's room and buy fabric WITH boys in tow, not only did we go away and find that she had made EVERYTHING while we were gone, not only did we have a fantastically wonderful and relaxing weekend away while someone who loves our children was in charge, but my kids were also alive when I got home!! Total win win win for everyone, but mostly me.

Oh, and after a monumental tantrum in which Tate threw up from freaking out so much over his costume at the ward trunk or treat, I had zero desire to press the issue on Halloween night. So he went trick or treating, sans costume, and marched right into each resident's house to find the toys in the basement. Yeah...he is a really delightful 2 year old at the moment.

Also. This is Adam and me at the Rio Grande bridge in NM, which just so happens to be the original bridge to nowhere. Pretty sweet. I tried real hard to find a picture of my face that does not look so pregnant. Alas, this is what it has come to and one was not to be found. But how cute is Nora's room and how awesome is my mom?

To own or not to own a home? I say "TO NOT!"

So after a long fought battle to obtain a short sale for the home we bought when we moved to California, we finally closed and became proud non-homeowners on Halloween. Anyone who has not been through this miserable process can’t begin to fathom how much brain damage and emotional trauma is involved. So I will spare you. But I can’t express how happy I am to no longer be a homeowner, landlord, have no ties to CA, and mostly just be responsible for the house I live in!

So now begins the “Should we buy a house because it is the smart thing to do?” debate. A few weeks ago we went out to visit the home of one of Adam’s work associates. She lives about 30 minutes away from us on a decently sized piece of land…let’s be honest, anything more than the 1/10th of an acre plot that the mass produced homes in our neighborhood sit on is decently sized. But I mean like 15 acres. She has horses and goats and cats and dogs and all sorts of animals that I have no interest in. But I do have interest in the land and space and living a little removed and the ability to open my door and say “GO” to my children.

The boys had a blast, obviously. I mean literally, they were in heaven. It was sort of like being in Lake Powell where I just had this feeling of “ahh, we were meant to be here. This is what boys are supposed to do all day: run, run, run, jump, climb, run, get dirty, chase animals, throw rocks, sword fight with sticks, etc. “ They each got a turn to ride Starr, the nice old well broken in horse who wouldn’t kick even if a certain two year old refused to abide by rule number one of horse interaction: do NOT walk behind and ESPECIALLY underneath the horse. Apparently Tate missed (actually, rather ignored) that memo and spent most of the time running back and forth underneath the horse’s legs. Harmless, really.

So Adam and I go back and forth about what we really want when we have “our” house. The truth is, we may not really need to even discuss the pros and cons because by the time we are ready for “our” house, our kids will be parents themselves and looking for rest homes for us to die in. But nonetheless, we go back and forth about whether we want the land and the space and the freedom or the neighborhood and amenities and social activities for our kids. I really really like where we live. We are renting a home less than a mile away from Adam’s work, Target, Eli’s school, the bank, parks, community center complete with gym and childcare…literally, most days I don’t go anywhere more than a mile from my home and Adam comes home for lunch more days than not. Its awesome. I love the elementary school, and I love that Eli can go outside and find friends to play with. I love how well laid out and efficient the house is built; it makes practical sense on almost every level and isn’t too bad to look at. The yard is small and easy to care for.

But I hate that there is one or two or three of my same house on every carefully laid out street. I hate that my home is six inches away from either of my neighbors, which means they can probably hear me yelling at my kids. I don’t like that everything in the house is generic and practical, even though it makes perfect sense. I hate feeling like everything I do is on display and that I am “supposed” to be friends with everyone here…I know that sounds very cynical and antisocial, but I just don’t always want to be friendly ok????!!!!!! Sometimes ( a lot of times, actually) I just want to be left alone. And I will never buy another house in a homeowner’s association. Been there done that…unless it just makes too much sense not to, in which case….I don’t know.

I can't help myself

I know my blog had a rebirth under the pretext that I was not going to discuss politics or my very opinionated personal views where they don't directly relate to my family. Here is how my views of last night's debate relate to my family: Talking on the phone is a nightmare. It does not matter what I do to try and placate my kids--turn on a show, set them up with treats or a meal or lock them safely in the car or stroller. I get on the phone to discuss the debate with my family or, heaven forbid, make a doctor's appointment and mayhem ensues. I guarantee you my house is still NOT burned down because I severely limit my conversations on the phone. And I do that because even though I know somewhere deep down inside myself, I am truly capable of having an intelligent, adult conversation, my kids just prohibit it. When I get on the phone, I am a rambling, meandering, bumbling idiot. So here are the thoughts I was trying to excitedly articulate to my siblings on the phone betwixt Tate hitting and cursing me for trying to put on his orange shoes instead of his green ones, refusing to sit in the cart, throwing his capri sun that he clearly did not want and demanding that I buy him a new toy...

1-Jim Lehrer sucked. I know the moderator is supposed to be subtle if not invisible. But he got trampled and by so doing gave both debaters an unchecked podium. He had no control of the debate and asked nothing even remotely challenging or controversial; I was shocked by this given the plethora of controversial fodder Romney has provided in the last 4 weeks and that the President has provided in the last 4 years! There was more than enough material on which to challenge each competitor and the most compelling question he asked was "What is the difference between you and your opponent on _____?" Unbelievable. And even more unbelievable was that Romney was the only one to fill that challenge vacuum and take it to his opponent. I have never seen Barack Obama look so lackluster, defeated and downright boring.

2-I am so sick and tired of the President casually tossing around the word "investment." I hate how he talks about needing people to pay more so we can "invest"....um, very few people are investing right now. We are trying to survive and resurge so that SOME DAY we can begin investing again. Especially when he has demonstrated a track record of poor investments ie Solyndra, GM, AIG, etc. I don't really trust him as my financial adviser and it angers me that he wants to ask ANYONE for more money when that money has been so poorly mismanaged (to be fair, not just by him but by government in general). No one should pay more! Government should get its freaking act together. That's why I appreciated Romney talking about the deficit in moral terms.

3-I did not like the way Romney trounced all over the moderator, even though he was terrible (see number 1). He interrupted him and flat talked right over him. I know that contributed to his overall aggressiveness and keeping himself on the offensive but I didn't like that.

4-The truth is truth is relative in politics. Liberals of all degrees today (remarkably enough) are praising Romney's performance and style while dogmatically accusing him of lies and fabrication. First of all, your interpretation of truth depends on your initial values and paradigms; in other words, if you think it is better tax policy, or even more morally sound, to place a heavier burden on the wealthier sector of the population, then you will naturally conclude it is untruthful to assert that the opposite policy will encourage more growth and perhaps even higher revenue. And second, does anyone truly NOT expect their candidate to frame their argument in a way that hides any flaws of said argument? Because if either one of them have a downright, crystal clear, perfect solution to reducing the deficit, guaranteeing the solvency of medicare for the younger generation, making the tax code simpler and more fair, oh and insuring everyone in the country regardless of their health status in an economically viable way...they don't. Each of their solutions depend on very different value systems and are therefore subject to accusations of untruthfulness.

5-I for one wholeheartedly support the continued borrowing of funds from China to prop up Big Bird. That bird is too big to fail!

6-The best line of the night was when Romney said he was used to hearing people repeating things that were not true and hoping he would eventually believe it because he has 5 boys. Amen.

7-I don't know how much of a difference this makes. Romney did just about everything he needed to: He was assertive without being disrespectful. He was knowledgeable, competent and presidential. He even managed to be somewhat funny and likeable, perhaps even a touch empathetic...remarkable given how rich and out of touch he is. The President did everything to assist him in that goal and nothing to help his own image. Romney was extremely well coached on every minute minutae of debating--looking directly at your opponent, smiling without smirking, being witty without being snide, being tough without being curt or condescending. He walked many fine lines with pretty precise precision. BUT, I still don't know if it matters. I can't BELIEVE that it might not, but there has been no indication that the country is ready (again, astonishingly enough) to fire the president.

8-Ann Romney's hair looks 1000 times better shorter. She should never allow her hair to get longer than that and should probably even cut it a little shorter. She looked fantastic in white. And Michelle Obama looked as gorgeous as she always does. Now I feel better, like my conversations I had on the phone are complete. And I cannot wait for the next debate. Oh, and read this. So funny.