Friday, February 29, 2008

Jazzless Jazz

Grandma- What happened to your Jazz last week? They lost to the Clippers! At least I ate a pickle for you and saw Boozer. -Eli

Monday, February 25, 2008

Oh and a giant PS

Oh Sam Wawy yo so adowable.

My damn dog damn near skinned the guinea pig. Fortunately Lola lives. Stupid animal instincts. I feel awful. She has a big chunk of hair gone where he bit into her. I am the worst substitute mother ever; I really suggest that Melissa not get another baby, lose a husband and gain a dog all at the same time when she returns. This house isn't ready for that scenario. Why? Refer back to opening sentence. Poor little bald back Lola.

2 First for me: Equally difficult

1-Enduring Sacrament meeting with four kids. Is the church a little bit less true while you are raising kids?
2-Jogging with two 25+ pound boys in a stroller and dog in tow.

Now I know why God invented primary and man invented school. I am down in San Diego watching Melissa's darling boys while she is on a cruise this week. My dog and baby are having a blast with all these boys to play with. So am I. I know nothing about being a mom yet. I am just playing house with one child. This is the big leagues.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

3 years and counting

Happy Anniversary to Adam and was the 16th. I'm a day late. Sorry. It's been three years. We kind of just celebrated our anniversary all week because of stupid Valentine's Day and Chel was here and what not. We had a lot of fun, still like each other and have fun doing whatever it is we are know better what that is than I do if you read this blog. Marriage rocks. Gratuitous pictures of the weekend extravaganza will follow. And I must say, having your own personal traveling nanny who loves your son, takes care of him and goes wherever you go all weekend is totally underrated. We'll miss Chels and it was fun to have her play all weekend. Who is next?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Carpet is better than concrete... and Cinnamon Sun Chips are even better

Heather: I get your whole fetish with the visible vacuum lines thing; I have just never had carpet that was nice enough to show the vacuum lines. It's cool. Happy Valentine's Day to us from our Homeowner's association: our house is finally whole again. The carpet was installed yesterday; no more yucky men in and out of my house all day. No more skid marks from said yucky men in my toilet. No more asking them to leave for a minute so I can use the bathroom, or waiting until four o clock to take a shower when they leave. Yes. My house is mine again. And E now has a place in our house where he can topple over without incurring a black and blue mark on his head. SO he is obviously happy about that.

Has anyone tried cinnamon Sun Chips? Wow. In ice Cream? Yeah, they are really good. This is a picture of Eli overwhelmingly approving. Adam inherited his dad's excellent meat cooking skills so we had some delicious steak and vanilla bean ice cream with caramel, raspberries and cinnamon Sun Chips. So good. Take that all you suckas who went out for Valentine's Day-lame!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Blogdor strikes again

If your interest has been stirred by my wrath for the California health care program, go read Adam's blog. He may not be the most frequent blogger, but he sure does know how to vent. I think he posts only when he is about to explode from studying so much.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Do I really look like I am 14?

Warning: This post may inadvertently endorse certain forms of plastic surgery. The author is not responsible for any implications the reader may or may not glean from the contents herein.

So this has happened to me three times since December. Last week, I pulled up into the grocery store with Eli, got out and started walking inside with kid on hip when I was abruptly stopped and interrogated about my age by someone I didn't know. Granted, she was obviously a homeless raving lunatic, but the following conversation ensued:
Crazy lady: Oh my gosh! Is that your baby?
Puzzled me: Um, yes.
Crazy lady: How old are you honey?
More puzzled me: 24
Getting crazier lady: Oh, dear Lord! I thought that was your mother's car that you had taken and you were just carting someone's baby around! You look like you are about 14 sweet thing!
Taken totally aback me: Oh, er thanks...I'll take that as a compliment?

I finally had to walk away as she was still muttering about how I looked like a teenager with a baby-which actually wouldn't be all that uncommon here. The bulk of new moms I see at Babies R Us are not a day older than 16, walking around all smiley like with their terrified 16 year old pot smoking boyfriends in tow. It's sad.

Anyway, it also happened in Hawaii a few times. We got on a boat where alcohol was served and I was asked several times if I was 21. Yes. Really? Yes. Are you sure? Yes. I didn't think about it until after the fact, but I suppose it makes sense that these encounters have all occurred in the time since I have quit nursing. Coincidence? Maybe. But does my since deflated chest really make me look like a teenage mom? Apparently.

We had Adam's parents here this weekend for LLU "parent teacher conference"...that's what it felt like. It was really fun though. They got to come tour the school, watch Adam dedicate his dental education to serving in Christlike capacities, and play with Eli a lot. We went down to Newport Beach, soaked in the sun and ate a lot of delectable treats. It's always fun to have visitors, and you dear reader, are invited anytime to come play. Chels comes on Friday and we can't wait.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

And the results are in...

Satan wins.

Super stupid California and Super Tuesday

Dear uninformed voter:
I applaud you for going out and doing your civic duty today, despite your previous inattention to the political candidates and issues. That's okay. Way to go on aimlessly casting a critical vote; hopefully there are enough of you people to elect someone from the ballot who is no longer running. And fortunately, the great state of California, and I am sure others, helped you do that today by offering you a ballot with a list of presidential candidates ten names long. Wait, I'm sorry. You wouldn't know that there were really only three candidates left in the Republican party, and two in the Democratic. I am just glad that instead of updating our paper ballots to a more sophisticated and streamlined electronic voting booth (which could easily delete the names of Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson so that you, dear stupid voter, can't unintentionally sway a tight race in a nebulous and unmeaning way)we fund drug dealers and crackheads with welfare. Seriously, when a third of the all important delegates in the entire country come from this state, why on earth would you give the voters an inaccurate ballot? I realize most people know who is and is not still in the race, but given the fact that it is a close and contested race and that there are so freaking many delegates at stake in California, why do we still have a paper ballot that was printed off last year when Duncan Hunter had a chance? I mean, if any of Adam's faithful supporters took his admittedly solid advice on voting for a candidate by the strength of his name, then Duncan Hunter may just win California folks. So way to go ignorant voter; California has helped you, once again, remain so.

Love, Ashley

All I know is that if this race turns out to be a contest between John McCain and the Clintons, I won't even watch. How BORING. No thank you. I will retire from political TV watching and do something more productive. I know, it's quite the threat huh? And I will seriously write myself in and vote for me for President; I told Adam I would vote for him, but he doesn't have time, so just in case it catches on, I better put my name on because E and Duane and I could handle it; we have got plenty of time.

I told my mom this morning that I had never been more of a Republican than I am now. She almost cried, she was so happy. Why, do you ask? Because I have been applying for Medi-cal since August and it has not been as pleasant as passing a kidney stone. I don't even want to know how many tax dollars have funded this ridiculous beaurocratic nightmare from hell ordeal. The thought of the government getting involved in universal health care makes me want to vomit and move to Singapore, in that order. I cannot believe how incredibly inefficient and utterly useless the government is on this front. The thought of Hillary walking in and instituting a health plan managed by the government is about the worst idea since me voting for myself for president. That's why I voted for Mitt Romney because he figured out how to stimulate a weakened economy WHILE instituting health care for everyone, in a liberal state, I might add. Maybe this conservative talk show backlash can affect the race enough to let Mitt draw this debate out and get some of the super delegate votes. I kind of think it's too little too late though and I wish that Hannity and Rush would have pulled their heads out sooner. Mostly, I think there were just too many viable candidates on the Republican side for too long. I hope Obama wins the democratic nomination so I won't be bored out of my mind until November, and God forbid, for the next four or more years. Anyway, my good friend Michelle summed up Super Tuesday in response to my query about the padded presidential list-but it goes for the bogged down government programs too: "It's California! You'll learn not to expect much."