Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ok, now I want to know what you really think

Thank you for all of your well wishes. It means a lot to me. But now I want advice, criticism, concerns, suggestions, insight, etc. Tell me what you think I should do. And don't say that it is my decision; I know that Adam and I are plenty capable of making this decision together and dealing with whatever consequences either decision would bring. But this is part of studying it out in my heart and mind, if you will. Here are a few of the limited details:
-I would go three nights a week from 6:30-9:20.
-The school is in Ontario, twenty minutes away.
-It's a four year program, including summer terms.
-I have about a 2/3 of the cost scholarship.

Ready, set, go.


Heather said...

I think that's exciting that you were admitted with a scholarship! It does validate you for sure.
But, I would ask, are you REALLY going to practice once it's all over? I've had some experiences lately, that I'll tell you about via phone or something, that make me want to steer clear of the whole legal system in general.
So, we all know Adam will be a dentist and will be a darn good and committed one. Are you going to be a practicing lawyer? Do you want to? I know it's always been a dream of yours, and I understand that. Is it still your dream to work as a lawyer?
(I know, same question lots of ways. But you asked what I really thought.)

Katie said...

Will you always wonder "What if" for the rest of your life if you don't go to law school? If so, then I would seriously consider the option. I am so much more content with my life knowing that I was able to get the "what if's" out of my system. Granted, I was still single during my "serious" career phase, but moving to a small podunck town was definitely challenging.

Also, it depends on what you want to see happen when you are finished with law school. I don't think you would have a problem finding a job...it's just the matter of whether you want a job as demanding as being a lawyer.

Ya, I probably didn't help you one bit. Did I?

Ashley said...

Good points. Thank you, this is exactly what I am looking for.

Maybe part time intitially. Maybe from home. Maybe not at all for a while. I think there are lots of really good reasons to have a law degree. I think I will be a better mom, and a better business partner for Adam. Honestly, if all I ever do is help Adam buy, set up, and run dental practice(s), pay back my loans, and teach my kids that higher education is important, that is enough of a reason to do it. Ideally, I would like to teach an AP government course at my kids' high school someday. Mostly, I just want the education. I am sure there is a good argument somewhere that that is selfish.

Shawn and Ashlyn said...

Just because you have a law degree doesn't mean that you HAVE to work out of the home if at all. The next 4 years are going to pass whether you go to school or not. This is what YOU want to do. Ashley think about it...you will be home 4 out of the 7 nights and will be with Eli everyday! You are not nursing anymore so that is not a worry. The only concern is if you want more kids in the near future (like in the next 4 years) That is definitely something to think about. But Eli is getting more independent and Adam and Eli can have "guy time" for a few hours 3 nights a week. And as far as the whole 20 minutes away thing...you will spend 20 minutes driving to walmart. I say go for it! You have never and should never sit in the background. The sky is the limit! P.S. if you don't do it you will be happy doing whatever you decide!

Ashley said...

Yes, we do want to have more children in the next four years, and yes if we decide no, I would still be happy. I have what I really want most and I am very happy doing what I do; but I still want this too. And I haven't been able to shake that in the last five years since I walked away the first time. I think since it is part time, I could still have another baby...but no one or thing in this house is ready for that yet, whether I go to school or not.

Alisa said...

Yes I think you should do it!!!! I think you would for sure reget it if you didn't. 4 years will go by so fast and it is a great oppurtunity.

Olivia said...

I definitely plan on going back to teaching and even earning my masters degree. I just want my kids to grow up a bit first. Is this really the only time you'll be able to do this? You are still young. Could an opportunity like this present itself again down the road a bit? If it is a once in a lifetime chance, than maybe figure out how to make it work. Otherwise, if it were me I would probably wait. Especially if you plan on having another kid in the near future.

Andy & Jen said...

my opinion is anything hard is worth it! law school will be tough, you'll be busy & tired but its doable! you can still be a wonderful mother & wife & will find time to do everything somehow. furthering your education is never selfish! HELLO! you got an awesome scholarship smartypants, what an opportunity! love u whatever u decide!

Michelle Tolboe said...

I think you should go for it. Like you said, it's something you've always wanted to do. It probably won't be easy and you'll probably be really busy but if not now, when?
My only question is, are you going to live in cali for the next four years? Or would you transfer once Adam is done with school to wherever you're going to live? That's the only hiccup I can think of. But I still say do it while you only have one or two kids. Not only were you born to be a great mom but you were born to be a lawyer.
Congrats on the scholarship. Wow!

Michelle Tolboe said...

And one more thing...

If going back to law school will take time away from blogging well then I am against it. And it is my greatest fear that you will neglect it and we'll never hear from you again. So with your commitment to attend law school should come another commitment that you'll keep blogging.

LOL :)

Ashley said...

I will surely try to pencil in some time for the blog Michelle. I think we would stay here unless Adam got an amazing job elsewhere that could cover the cost of our depreciating house; or he may end up specializing and staying in school for two more years anyway. Or working through the school until he is competent and fast enough to buy or start his own practice. There are a variety of situations that could keep us here even if I don't go to school-the biggest one being that we bought a house that needs more time to recover than we would like.

This is not necessarily a once in a lifetime opportunity...but kind of. There are not that many part time law school programs in the country, even fewer that I could get into with a scholarship. The chance that we would end up near one again is slim. Furthermore, I would have to retake the LSAT-which I never want to do. And I personally think it will be much more difficult once my kids get older and need help with homework, rides to practices, talks about their day, etc. I just don't think I would end up doing it at all later.

Lori & Rj said...

That is awesome! You should do it now while you only have one kid and he is still young. You are so smart. You can do it!

Cambrienelson said...

I think that you should do it as long as you can think of a few other things in life that you are content to cut out. 3 hours 3 times a week plus travel is about 12 hours and that doesn' include homework. I've had to cut out a ton of stuff in my life for my dinkly little online one-class-at-a-time degree. My entire family has felt it too. I've had less time for my girls (which is sad to me) less time for exercising and doing thing I enjoy. If you are ok with some major cuts in other areas of life then go for it.
Regardless of whether or not you do it, you'll always know that you were good enough for it : )

Marc said...

Ashley, This is Debbie Clayton Jones. I know it is pretty Hey random that I am commenting but I look at your blog from time to time from Whitney's blog.

First off congrats on getting into law school that is so awesome, way to go!

You have already got some great comments, it sounds like you have a lot to think about. I am only commenting because my husband is finishing up his first year of law school and I thought maybe I could give you some insight or some other things to think about that we really didn't think of before. Everyone tells you how hard it is but until you go through it, or are married to someone going through it, only then will you really come to understand.

One thing to think about is the scholarship, sometimes I wish my husband had never got one. I don't know if it was a bad thing or a good thing. Marc and a lot of his classmates would get so stressed out about keeping it. School alone is so stressful. He would start to stress about keeping the scholarship, because that is A LOT of money we have to pay back if he loses it. Maybe think about if you would be okay paying full tuition, not that I don't think you are capable of keeping it.

Another thing that was eye opening is the study time that has to be put in, it is more then a full time job. I don't know how demanding part time is compared to full time but I am guessing it probably is still pretty demanding. My husband just had to turn in a paper for finals in one class, he said he probably spent 60 hrs on it and he had a friend that spent 80 hrs on it in two weeks and they still had their regular study loads. Needles to say it feels like i never see my husband. I know you will come to the best decision for you but I just wanted to throw a few things out there, not to scare you though. On the up side, the first year (9 months) has gone by surprisingly quickly. Good luck :)

Whitney said...

Ok, so I really have been thinking a lot about your situation and this is what I have come up with.
For me I gave up on school just a year shy of a bachelor degree because I was so frustrated with school and not really convinced that the field I was going into was really what I wanted. Now that I have a kid I regret that more than anything.
I totally agree with you when you said going to school and getting a higher education will make you a better mom and your kids will admire you for doing it.
Ashley, hands down you are the smartest person I know, and being a lawyer has always been your dream. I think even if you don't practice it you will never regret it. But on the other hand if you don't do it will you always think "what if" (like me).
I think you are very fortunate to have a true passion for something and for having the means and opportunity to fulfill that passion.
I have read previous comments and I completely agree with everyone.
There are definitely pros and cons to each side. This is a really hard decision.
I know this sounds cheesy but when ever I have a decision I always write out the pros and cons and really see which one out weighs the other.
Good luck with making this decision I will be thinking of you!

Michelle Tolboe said...

I know this is random but I wonder what Dr. Laura would say... I have been listening to her show the last few days I have been traveling in the car. You should call her! :)

lauren said...

have you reached a verdict yet?

Shannon said...

Oh honey, i say Definitely do it! If you have the Opportunity and you have just one child, this would be the time to do it.
You may not practice it while your children are young, but you will totally help out Adam with his practice, family advice and experience. How awesome to teach your children and to have so much Knowledge to help others. You will use it in life.

My good friend is a lawyer and obviously is a full time Mom and she wouldn't change it for the world. She is a little Smartie Pants and i LOVE it!

I say Absolutely, yes!