I was so sad for you last week when you announced your decision. It was obvious to everyone that your heart was broken. For most of the week, I was angry for you--mad that you had to make a choice that didn't feel right. However, after my indignation passed, I had to admit that you had wise counsel. My own experience was similar to your plans; My husband was in law school while I was in grad school. We hardly saw each other and were financially troubled. It was a rough time for our marriage, and I can't recommend that path to anyone. I can't imagine the added stress of raising a child.
I'm not sure if knowing my experience will help or hinder your healing process, but I thought it was important for someone to acknowledge your sacrifice and tell you that you've made the right decision. Every time we give up something for our family, it feels like a little of our identity dies, right? It might feel like that now, but I promise you that your family will be stronger because of your choice. I hope that knowing that makes this pill easier to swallow. You are an articulate and intelligent woman, and the time will come when those gifts will be used. Don't give up your dreams.
This letter was from a friend of mine, one from whom I would not have expected to receive exactly what I needed to hear. I am still sad. But I am not angry...so that's good.