Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Super stupid California and Super Tuesday
Dear uninformed voter:
I applaud you for going out and doing your civic duty today, despite your previous inattention to the political candidates and issues. That's okay. Way to go on aimlessly casting a critical vote; hopefully there are enough of you people to elect someone from the ballot who is no longer running. And fortunately, the great state of California, and I am sure others, helped you do that today by offering you a ballot with a list of presidential candidates ten names long. Wait, I'm sorry. You wouldn't know that there were really only three candidates left in the Republican party, and two in the Democratic. I am just glad that instead of updating our paper ballots to a more sophisticated and streamlined electronic voting booth (which could easily delete the names of Rudy Giuliani and Fred Thompson so that you, dear stupid voter, can't unintentionally sway a tight race in a nebulous and unmeaning way)we fund drug dealers and crackheads with welfare. Seriously, when a third of the all important delegates in the entire country come from this state, why on earth would you give the voters an inaccurate ballot? I realize most people know who is and is not still in the race, but given the fact that it is a close and contested race and that there are so freaking many delegates at stake in California, why do we still have a paper ballot that was printed off last year when Duncan Hunter had a chance? I mean, if any of Adam's faithful supporters took his admittedly solid advice on voting for a candidate by the strength of his name, then Duncan Hunter may just win California folks. So way to go ignorant voter; California has helped you, once again, remain so.
All I know is that if this race turns out to be a contest between John McCain and the Clintons, I won't even watch. How BORING. No thank you. I will retire from political TV watching and do something more productive. I know, it's quite the threat huh? And I will seriously write myself in and vote for me for President; I told Adam I would vote for him, but he doesn't have time, so just in case it catches on, I better put my name on because E and Duane and I could handle it; we have got plenty of time.
I told my mom this morning that I had never been more of a Republican than I am now. She almost cried, she was so happy. Why, do you ask? Because I have been applying for Medi-cal since August and it has not been as pleasant as passing a kidney stone. I don't even want to know how many tax dollars have funded this ridiculous beaurocratic nightmare from hell ordeal. The thought of the government getting involved in universal health care makes me want to vomit and move to Singapore, in that order. I cannot believe how incredibly inefficient and utterly useless the government is on this front. The thought of Hillary walking in and instituting a health plan managed by the government is about the worst idea since me voting for myself for president. That's why I voted for Mitt Romney because he figured out how to stimulate a weakened economy WHILE instituting health care for everyone, in a liberal state, I might add. Maybe this conservative talk show backlash can affect the race enough to let Mitt draw this debate out and get some of the super delegate votes. I kind of think it's too little too late though and I wish that Hannity and Rush would have pulled their heads out sooner. Mostly, I think there were just too many viable candidates on the Republican side for too long. I hope Obama wins the democratic nomination so I won't be bored out of my mind until November, and God forbid, for the next four or more years. Anyway, my good friend Michelle summed up Super Tuesday in response to my query about the padded presidential list-but it goes for the bogged down government programs too: "It's California! You'll learn not to expect much."