Wednesday, March 24, 2010

This is not a post baby hormonal breakdown

I bawled my eyes out today. You would too.

Roughly fifty years ago, my grandpa gave my grandma a small, plain gold band; she was pregnant and her wedding ring didn't fit her swollen hands. Over the years, it became my mother's. Over more years, it became mine. I wore it to work at Pizza Factory so that I wouldn't get my diamond dirty once Adam and I got engaged.

Roughly five years ago, my sweet husband gave me a beautiful, emerald cut diamond set in a thin gold band and asked me to marry him. Before I got that ring, I cared nothing about "the ring." I just knew I wanted the man. But when he got down on one knee on the top of a cornice at the Park City ski resort and opened that little red box, my heart almost burst. I had no idea what that ring would mean to me in and of itself.

Roughly five weeks ago, my husband bestowed me with another ring-this time exhibiting the amazing side talent of working in a dental lab and learning how to cast gold crowns. For my 26th birthday/5th anniversary, Adam MADE a planished gold band. I was amazed at how beautiful and how NOT amateur a piece of jewelry it was. And it meant so much that he made it with his own two hands.

Last night I had all three of these important rings on. In one swift move, Tate peed and pooped all over me, him, the curtains and the rug while I was in the middle of changing him. In a panicked moment of trying to control the damage, I took off all three rings and put them in my left pocket. I cleaned Tate up and forgot all about them until I got out of the shower today and went to put my rings on. They were not in my jewelry box. My stomach dropped as I remembered what I did last night. I ran to the washer where the pants I had been wearing were spinning around. Not there. Adam spent the entire day taking apart our washer. I searched every piece of laundry, every square inch of our carpet, checked and rechecked each of our hampers and broke down in between each unsuccessful attempt to locate my wedding rings. I am devastated beyond belief.

I don't usually fall prey to the "why?" question or second guess the things I do. I know stuff happens. But hell. WHY couldn't I have just walked ten steps away and put them in my box where they belong? WHY couldn't I have just kept them ON and washed my hands after? And how the hell did they get out of my pants, up through the slit in the washer, and down through at least two separate drain traps? It's maddening and I know I need to stop that circular thought process and somehow make peace with it but I feel like a part of me has died. And all the while I am supposed to be just basking in this new little life I have created. That's what I want to be doing; he is such a sweetheart. But my heart is utterly and completely broken.

13 comments:

Britten & Chelsea Maughan said...

Oh my I am so so sorry. I would feel the exact same way if I were you-and I worry every time I put my rings somewhere random that something like that will happen. I am truly so sorry Ash- there is nothing anybody can say to make you feel better but at least you didn't lose your new baby?

AshleyS said...

oh, ash! i am so sorry. and to answer one of your WHY questions: you didn't go ten steps to put your rings in the jewelry box b/c then Tate would have fallen off the changing table. oh, i am sick for you. wish there was something i could do.

Heather said...

Oh. I do NOT know what to say. I am devastated for you. Seriously, I'm sick now. But I'm sure it doesn't come close to how you feel.
Did you have jewelry insurance?

Jordan said...

Oh Ash, I am so sorry. I hate stuff like that. Stuff that makes you feel terrible and just eats you up, especially because there's not really anything you can do about it. You never know though, maybe they'll turn up in the next couple of days. I hope so! Tate and Eli are lucky to have you, you're an amazing mom.

Lisa said...

:(

Maybe you'll find them next to my keys? Sorry...that was probably too soon.

Whitney said...

Ash! Oh my gosh I am sooooo sorry!
If it makes you feel any better my sisters little neighbor girl came over to her house one day and took her ring that was on the coffee table... The little girl said she took it outside! Two years of snow, then mowing the lawn and so on it suddenly appeared in there neighbors yard! Its a long shot but I wouldn't give up hope just yet :)
I really do hope they turn up! Love ya

Susan said...

Oh Ashley! This is terrible, and I completely feel your pain. Can you call the manufacturer and find out where they might have gone? My dryer has an internal magnet for this kind of thing, but it doesn't seem to work that often. I was heart broken when 2 of my small diamonds fell out of my wedding ring, So I can't imagine the pain you're going through! I'll pray for you! And just snuggle those babies tight, and hopefully some good will come out of this experience :)

Michelle Tolboe said...

Oh no! I was sick when i read this! That is so crappy, i'm so sorry! I'll say a little prayer for you to find them. That always seems to help me find my lost items faster.

Cambrie said...

I'm so sorry! That is terrible! What a strange trial to endure-- I' so sorry!

Katie said...

That is such heart-breaking news. I hope that the rings eventually turns up. I will have to stick Scott on your case. He can lose just about anything and then he says a quick prayer and always finds it. It never works for me though.

Stuart said...

I am so sorry. I do still believe they could turn up. I have looked for things till I went crazy and then when I have totally given up they turn up. My friend lost her diamond wedding ring and one month later it was in the corner or her upstairs bedroom. She never took it off anywhere NEAR that room. No reason why it would be there. So, you never know. I have been known to be optimistic to a fault, but I still say relax and see if they just come up some how. I would also ask Eli if he has held any rings. They could have fallen out of your pocket and he picked them up put them in his toys or something. I am so sorry! I honestly feel for you.

Stuart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stuart said...

This is Christine Segura by the way, not Stuart:)